Now that I'm a Grandfather, I can't help but pay close attention to how my Grandchildren are being raised. And naturally, by doing so, I tend to compare what I see with the way I acted as a parent. I see major differences. I'm very pleased.
Because of these differences, I often beat myself up for not being as good as a parent as I could have been. Then, I see a comment that my oldest Son posted on another person's blog. WOW. I guess there was SOME things I did right!
Danny's comment is posted below. I'm VERY PROUD of him, and my adorable Daughter-In-Law, and the way they are raising my three adorable Grandchildren.
I only wish I had done a better job, but I guess I could have done worse. I also wish I had played a more direct role in my youngest Son's first twenty-some-odd years, but as it turns out, he's OK too.
DANNY, BRADLEY, AMANDA, DREW, CHARLIE & LINDSAY LEIGH: I am very proud of you all, and love each of you more than you will ever know.
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Dan W. Boles (@danwboles on twitter) says:
I grew up an Air Force brat turned Corporate brat of a single Father (and sometimes a step-mom). To say that I grew up in a strict home is, well, an understatement, but I have to say it ultimately paid off and in more ways than one.
I’ve noticed that so far I’m the only Dad to comment (I think), which is fascinating to me. I hope perhaps my experience, testimony, and perspective will be of value to both Moms and Dads alike.
The first thing I remember about the strictness was that I always hated being raised as a “little soldier.” It has lead to some personality conflicts with authority figures now as an adult (and especially in college) but ultimately provided me with a deep appreciation for routine and understanding how/why boundaries are put in place.
The second thing I would add is it created in me a rebellious and audacious desire to “prove myself” when I went to college. This lead to many mistakes, poor judgment calls and decisions that I would take back in a heartbeat if I could, but I also mastered the art of learning from them. I didn’t spend much time on the mistakes; I learned from them, vowed not to repeat them, and moved on with life. Looking back, I can see the wisdom of growing up in a strict home where decision-making (vis-a-vis responsibility) was an integral piece of how I was raised. That wisdom (and my Father cutting the cord and allowing me to fail) allowed me the freedom to make decisions on my own, make mistakes (and there were many!) and process them and learn from them. As I grew into adulthood, beyond college and into marriage and child-bearing/rearing, this gave me the ultimate confidence in my ability to make decisions and take care of myself and my family.
The last thing I would add is simply that even though it sucked growing up in a strict home, and my father was definitely NOT concerned about being my friend, he accomplished two very important things; he prepared me for adulthood by the time I was 18 (not 30) and he earned (demanded really) my respect.
If I accomplish that with my three kids, I will consider my job well done. Anything else is unacceptable.
Blessed be,
Dan
Dads who change diapers change the world.
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